time for a rant

time for a rant

body shaming.

Why is that even a thing? Who do people think it is okay to say someone is “too skinny” or “too fat”?

Are people really that insecure about themselves that they have to pick on others? You have NO idea how what you say about a person will effect them. You don’t know what that person is going through mentally. They could be fighting something internally about the way they look.

They could be going through anything and when someone says “he/she is not perfect” it could hurt them a lot more than people realize.

I personally have had the mindset that I do not look like the media says I should, I have battled those thoughts before. I still to this day, will sometimes think that no one will ever love me because I don’t look like the girls in the magazines. but you know what, I have taken the healthy approach to this things, instead of starving myself or purging, I am eating healthier, going to the gym 4 days a week, drinking a ton of water, and getting enough sleep.

I do struggle with “bad thoughts” sometimes, so when I see others being body shamed it hits close to home. I don’t think I will ever understand why people think it is okay to talk so much shit about a person’s looks. It is wrong on so many levels and we even have these so called “role models” who think it is okay to talk shit about other celebrities on Twitter or some even in interviews and it is just wrong.

I think this is enough rant for today.

I just needed to get that off of my chest because it has been weighing on me for a few days now.

Do you agree, disagree, want to add something? Well then let me know in the comments below.

I hope you have an amazing week.


Mental Health

Mental Health

I am sitting at my desk, crying. real tears.

Today was not a good day. I haven’t had an attack in a few months, I thought I was better. Little did I know I was no where near better.

It came out of no where. I was sitting in class about to take a really important test, when all of a sudden I couldn’t breath. I was terrified.

It got worse as everyone stared at me while I was hyperventilating and no one even asked if I was okay, they just went about their business. Making me feel like I was completely alone and helpless.

I never thought I would have an attack like this in class, but they come out of no where and it is the worse thing ever. I don’t even know what caused this one. All I know is that it scares the absolute shit out of me and I had to sit there, in a class of 160 other students and take a test. I couldn’t leave or I would not be able to take my test and I think that made it worse.

It has just been a bad day. It’s 8:10pm. I should be studying for my Philosophy midterm that I have tomorrow but I can’t stop crying. I am terrified. Anxiety is the worse thing I have ever had. I just want it to go away. Someone please make it go away.

I don’t know if i will ever post this. I just needed to get this out of my system. I have anxiety and have had it for as long as I can remember. It is something I deal with every single day. I am able to fake it a lot when it comes to being happy. I honestly don’t know the last time I was truly happy.

Which scares me more than anything.

I have to physically make myself get out of bed every single morning, and it’s not because I’m “lazy”. I am scared of what might happen during the day that could trigger a panic attack. I don’t leave my house on the weekends really at all. I don’t like to make plans to go out with friends, I don’t even have that many friends to start with and the ones that I do have live no where near me.

I try not to let my anxiety rule my life but it is getting harder every single day. Some days I just think I should give up.

We aren’t twelve year old little girls.

We aren’t twelve year old little girls.

If you were to ask the general public how old they think the average age of a One Direction fan a majority would say 12. Why is this? I think it is because One Direction is still seen by many people as just a stupid little boy band, when in fact they are so much more than that.

I did a survey on twitter and asked people their age. 106 people voted in that survey. Out of the 106 people, 85% of them said they were over the age of 18. That does not surprise me at all. Out of those over the age of 18, 58% said they were between the ages of 18-26.

So why can others not except the fact that we are not 12 year old little girls?

WE GREW  UP WITH THE BOYS. I am now 22 years old, I  have had the best time ever growing up with them.

I mean let’s be real here, have you listened to some of their lyrics lately?

Let’s start with Better Than Words, during Niall’s solo he says, “Best I ever had, hips don’t lie, you make me wanna shhhh one more night.” HELLO, what do you think that means? I wouldn’t let a 12 year old listen to that…

Moving on… NO CONTROL.. “Waking up beside you I’m a loaded gun”Interpret as you will but it doesn’t leave much to the imagination now does it?

Lastly, Temporary Fix… This is probably one of my favourite songs on Made in the A.M. “We can roll in the darkness, let me touch you where your heart is.” all while Harry is moaning Yeah in the background.. Even Niall has said that this song is about a one night stand after meeting in a bar. I see you Niall. 😉

Their songs have slowly gotten dirtier and dirtier, and I love it. They are growing up and writing about what they are doing with their life, not just some bubble gum pop stuff.

With all of that being said, I am so tired of people believing that this fandom is nothing but little kids. Over half of us are grown adults and should not be treated like crap for liking One Direction

Just keep in mind we aren’t 12 year old little girls.

*rant over*


3 Reasons Why Zoe Sugg is an Amazing Role Model.

3 Reasons Why Zoe Sugg is an Amazing Role Model.


I honestly don’t even know where to start when it comes to Zoe. She is one of my favourite people on this planet. When I found out that Zoe also has anxiety, it honestly made me love her even more.

She shows in every video how to be yourself and not worry about what others think. She is a strong woman who knows exactly what to say at the exact right moments. She is a writer, a vlogger, a blogger and an all around amazing person.


3. Inspirational: Zoe has inspired me to be myself. I know that sounds extremely cliche, but it is honestly the truth. I have watched her videos for what seems like forever now. She has taken the time out of her day to talk and show us that even if you do suffer from a mental illness such as anxiety, that it does not define you. She shows that no matter what is going on in life, you can always come out ahead and be the best you that you can be.

2. Talented: Zoe started off blogging about just things that interested her and she has turned that into an amazing YouTube channel that now has over 10,000,000 subscribers. She posts so many different types of videos, from challenges to make-up tutorials. She also posts different Haul videos, which are personally some of my favourite things ever. My number one favourite video that Zoe uploads are just the chatty videos where she sits in front of the camera and talks to us like we are really there and that means a lot to me. just because it feels like we can actually say that Zoe is our friend.

1. Relatable: Zoe is so funny. Just some of her characteristics make me giggle. I feel as if she doesn’t take things way to seriously. She knows how to have a good time and make jokes that a genuinely funny. I can watch one of her videos when I am having a bad anxiety day and they will make me feel so much better. If I didn’t have a Zoe video to watch I don’t know who I would be able to relate to so much. She is just a normal person who goes through the same things that us as viewers go through, it’s just that she films it and posts these videos online for millions of people to see.


Zoe is a true inspiration to me and countless others. I look up to her so much even though she is only 3 years older than me. I would do anything to just tell her Thank You and to let her know how much she has helped me without even knowing it.

So this is to you Zoe Sugg.

Thank You for everything you do and please keep doing it.


5 Reasons why One Direction Should Have Been A Part Of The Grammys.

5 Reasons why One Direction Should Have Been A Part Of The Grammys.

It has been 5 years. These boys (MEN) have grown so much musically, vocally, lyrically and dare I say it physically. I believe they should have been asked to at least perform this year, and I wish they were nominated, Made in the A.M. is everything. Yes they are on a break, but hell, I think they would have come back for one night to PERFORM at the Grammy’s.

When Zayn left in March of 2015, so many people said that they would never make it without him, but on July 31st at 1 a.m. I was in a hotel room in Indianapolis, the night before my OTRA show. Drag Me Down, the first single without Zayn was dropped out of no where. No one expected this to happen and what happened? Within one hour this song was #1 in over 82 countries. No promo, just a single tweet of an iTunes link from Liam Payne to start the frenzy.

Made in the A.M. was released on November 13, 2015. The first album without Zayn. This album debuted at Number One on the UK Album Charts and Number Two on the US  Billboard 200.

What happened to the boys not making it without Zayn? They killed it. I feel as if this album is the most important to these four. They have even said that in interviews. With this album they had more creative freedom than they had with the previous four. The lyrics for these songs have real meaning behind them. They spent countless hours in an actual studio recording this album, they stayed up late writing these songs, hence Made in the A.M.

These four needed to be at the Grammy’s this year. They have proved it on so many different levels. They have come so far from What Makes You Beautiful. If I could change anything that has happened, it would be that they were on that stage last night singing their hearts out.

So lets start this countdown.

5. HISTORY. This song means everything to the One Direction Fandom. It is our anthem. It is that one song that will make you cry and smile all at the same time. The video alone made me cry in the union at school in front of so many people that probably thought I was insane. Just picture this: Niall, Louis, Liam and Harry standing on the Grammy stage, looking amazing, singing History. They would have gotten so into it and it would have stolen the show for me. It would be all I would talk about tomorrow and the next day and probably the next year. Let’s be real here. Anytime they sing History it breaks our heart just a little bit, but in a good way… Right?

4. Red Carpet Pictures. When have those boys not taken a good red carpet picture? We need new Red Carpet pictures.. I know I am dying from not seeing these boys on the red carpet. They never cease to amaze me when they step out of the car. I know Harry’s fashion choices are little questionable at time (IKEA couch fabric I’m talking about you), but I swear that boy does no wrong.

3. Excitement. Their reactions to everything that is happening around them at award shows gives me life. It never fails that one of them will do something so inappropriate and it makes the other three laugh so hard. Definitely makes for amazing GIFs

2. Acceptance Speeches. When they win an award, the acceptance speech always makes me laugh. Whether it is Harry having to run up and ask what award they won because he was in the toilet when it was awarded or Liam being cut off from speaking or even when Louis and Niall take the piss out of everything. It is the best part of any award show for me.

1.  They deserve it. I am not just saying they “deserve” a Grammy because I have been here since the beginning, I am saying this because they genuinely do deserve a Grammy. These four boys have been through one hell of a year, loosing one member of the band and STILL finishing that tour. Which I have to say OTRA was the best tour these boys have ever done. They have grown so much these last five years. They are writing more and the songs have meaning behind them. They know just what to say to show that they are here for us even when they don’t realize it.

I am not going to go fangirl crazy and flip out over them not being there this year, but I will say One Direction is not over, this is NOT the end and they WILL be back. I have faith that these four will have a Grammy. Niall will post a picture on Instagram of his TV at home and to the side of it you will be able to see that Grammy. He will show it off with pride.

I cannot wait until this day happens..

When will it happen? Maybe next year? Maybe the next? I don’t know the exact year but I do believe that it will happen.

Until then, in the famous words of Mr. Harry Styles,

“All the Love”