I haven’t posted here since March 29, 2017, over a year ago. A lot has happened in a year.
I was diagnosed with a General Anxiety Disorder in May 2017. I was accepted to participate in another Disney College Program in September 2017. I graduated with a degree in Communication in December 2017. I moved to Florida in January 2018. I have been working at Walt Disney World since January 26th. I am currently a Haunted Mansion Maid in the Magic Kingdom.
I have met so many amazing people here and some not so great. I have made friends that I will never forget. That is one thing that really sucks about the DCP, you meet these amazing people and after working with them for a few months, the odds of ever seeing them again are very small. Every time someone leaves the Mansion the tears start to fall and I realize how much it just sucks.
I have realized how much I suck at blogging and vlogging. I am extremely inconsistent, simply because I don’t think anyone will care about what I have to say. I want to get better at it, I genuinely do because I think this could be some kind of outlet for when I am stressed or when I am going through an anxious period. I would like to better myself in so many ways.
It’s really hard sometimes to put down on paper what you want to say. So if it’s jumbled just know that this is coming straight from my brain to computer. I don’t want to edit things to make it seem like I have my life together, because we all know that is definitely not the truth.
All in all, wow that sounds like I’m writing some English paper that I definitely didn’t bullshit my way through. BUT ANYWAYS, I love each and everyone of you reading this. So there’s that. ALSO, if you have any topics you would like me to write about, let a girl know. Send me a DM, an email, an owl. hello Harry Potter.
Alright, back to the Disney bubble I go because home girl has to be at work at 11am tomorrow morning.
I feel like I am always doing these “catch up posts.” I always get so wrapped up in school and the stress that it brings that I forget to actually write down how I am feeling and that is exactly why I started this whole blogging thing. Sometimes I genuinely miss writing, other times I feel like it is almost a waste of time. I know many people don’t read what I write but at times it feels like what if someone I actually know reads what I am writing, what if they see how I really feel and what is really going on in my head. That’s a very scary thought.
I do want to use this blog to help myself sort through some of the things that go on in my head on a daily basis and that is scary for me to do at times, simply because I am the type of person to bottle everything up and push it to the side and go on about my life like nothing is wrong. Wow, that is a jumbled up mess of a sentence.
But anyways, back on topic. I have been extremely anxious lately when I begin to think about life after graduation in December of this year. I’ll be an adult. Do I even know how to adult properly? Can I survive being an adult and having to pay bills and student loans? Just typing all of this out is making my chest heavy with anxiety. I wish it was easier, I wish I knew exactly what would happen after graduation but we aren’t given that opportunity. No one is able to look into the future and see what it holds for us. We have to take chances, we have to keep those around us that lift us up and not those who try to drag us down.
The friends I made in the last 7 months are the best people that I never knew I needed in my life. They have been with me when my anxiety and depression got so bad that I physically could not leave my bed without having an attack. They were with me when my best friend almost died and I thought if he died then I would be the next to go. They held me up, they loved me at my worst and for that I am forever grateful. I don’t think I would have made it through everything that I did without them by my side.
For now that is all I want to say, back to writing this paper for my Research class. Have a good day.
I honestly don’t even know where to start when it comes to Zoe. She is one of my favourite people on this planet. When I found out that Zoe also has anxiety, it honestly made me love her even more.
She shows in every video how to be yourself and not worry about what others think. She is a strong woman who knows exactly what to say at the exact right moments. She is a writer, a vlogger, a blogger and an all around amazing person.
LET’S START THIS COUNTDOWN.
3. Inspirational: Zoe has inspired me to be myself. I know that sounds extremely cliche, but it is honestly the truth. I have watched her videos for what seems like forever now. She has taken the time out of her day to talk and show us that even if you do suffer from a mental illness such as anxiety, that it does not define you. She shows that no matter what is going on in life, you can always come out ahead and be the best you that you can be.
2. Talented: Zoe started off blogging about just things that interested her and she has turned that into an amazing YouTube channel that now has over 10,000,000 subscribers. She posts so many different types of videos, from challenges to make-up tutorials. She also posts different Haul videos, which are personally some of my favourite things ever. My number one favourite video that Zoe uploads are just the chatty videos where she sits in front of the camera and talks to us like we are really there and that means a lot to me. just because it feels like we can actually say that Zoe is our friend.
1. Relatable: Zoe is so funny. Just some of her characteristics make me giggle. I feel as if she doesn’t take things way to seriously. She knows how to have a good time and make jokes that a genuinely funny. I can watch one of her videos when I am having a bad anxiety day and they will make me feel so much better. If I didn’t have a Zoe video to watch I don’t know who I would be able to relate to so much. She is just a normal person who goes through the same things that us as viewers go through, it’s just that she films it and posts these videos online for millions of people to see.
Zoe is a true inspiration to me and countless others. I look up to her so much even though she is only 3 years older than me. I would do anything to just tell her Thank You and to let her know how much she has helped me without even knowing it.
So this is to you Zoe Sugg.
Thank You for everything you do and please keep doing it.